14/7/2014
Hi,
My name’s Izzy and I’m an alcoholic. ... (all
together: “Hi Izzy”)
I’ve been on a wild binge for 7 days now.
It has been exactly 20 months to the day since I last fell
off the wagon.
I really thought that I would make it this time.
Apparently I was the only one who believed I could do it.
My sponsor and dear Uncle Sam was always there for me with
words of encouragement and platitudes, but when, 7 days ago, I relapsed into a
quagmire of uncontrollable madness and frenzy - Uncle Sam wasn’t there.
I want to describe for you how the ’12 Step program’ both
helped me to survive and drove me over the cliff.
I lasted for 607 days.
This is
an adaptation of the original twelve steps as published by Alcoholics Anonymous
(in black) – followed by 12 very personal comments (in red) paving my road to
self-destruction:
- I admitted I was powerless — that my life had become unmanageable.
I
was exposed and vulnerable and had completely lost my perspective of reality.
- Came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.
Promises,
promises and more promises – they huffed and they puffed and they blew my house
down.
- Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him.
God
is on my side, he is on my team. He will not abandon me.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.
Who
am I? Who are you? Who are we?
Who is there? Who is Sylvia?
- Admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.
Wrongs? What wrongs? I admit nothing!
- I’m entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Surgery
was the last resort – the operation was successful but unfortunately the
patient died.
- Humbly asked Him to remove my shortcomings.
I
have always envied tall people – they can reach so much further.
- Made a list of all persons I had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Group
virtual hug – Facebook & Twitter – LIKE J
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
How
much will it take to make it go away?
Money’s no object – don’t be shy – trust me this will hurt me more than
it‘ll hurt you – you’ll thank me afterwards.
- Continued to take personal inventory, and when I was wrong, promptly admitted it.
I
know I shouldn’t have hit you – call it a moment of insanity – I’m sooooo
sorry!
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God as I understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry that out.
The
Lord is my shepherd. The Lord giveth
and the Lord taketh away.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, I tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all my affairs.
I
woke up on 8th July with a big bang, the spirit moved me and the
iron dome protected me.
607 days
of abstinence – then a rocket struck my wagon and boy did I fall!